When It's Time To Say Goodbye

When It's Time To Say Goodbye........

If you're reading this post then you too are a pet lover. You too have had pets or have pets. You know the bonds that are formed between these beloved animals and those of us lucky enough to find that special one.

About 14 years ago, our grandson who lived in an apartment with his folks at the time, expressed how much he wished he could have a dog. I had been missing having a pet too as we have always had one. My husband too, felt that to get a dog was a great idea. We had a friend who was preparing to breed her beautiful black cocker spaniel, so we called her and told her we'd love to have one of the pups. Well, the pups were born, and after a few weeks my husband and I took our then 4 year old grandson over to see the babies. They were just beautiful and we selected the runt of the litter as ours.

When it was time to bring our new furry baby home, we took our grandson with us. His mom was waiting at our house to see our new family member. What an exciting day that was. Alex was beside himself with joy as that little black pup jumped all over him and licked his face. That was Alex's dog too. We caged our new pup, "Gabby", short for Gabriella, in the kitchen with her food, papers, toys, and a bed. Alex, Gary and I spent more time in that caged area than we did anywhere. We couldn't get over how fast she was housebroken and soon was sleeping with us in our bed. Yes, in our bed. We wanted her close by.

Gabby was everyone's dog, but really, Alex and my husband Gary were her people. When Alex wasn't here, she followed Gary around wherever he went. If he sat in his recliner she was by his side. If he moved to his office chair, she moved too. If he was getting something to eat, there was our Gabby by his side watching the floor for droppings that would "just happen" to "accidentally" drop for her.

When Alex came to spend the night, Gabby would go from our bed to Alex's and back again. When we got up in the morning, if she wasn't with us, we knew where to look for her. She'd be in with her boy.

Alex was in pre-school at that time, and some days his dad would pick him up early from school. On his way to get Alex, he would stop off at our house, pick up Gabby, and take her with him to go get Alex. Oh my, the kisses, licks, and shouts of joy. It was such a treat for Gabby and for Alex.

On other days we would get a call asking if "Gabby could spend the night". Of course we would let her, so Alex and his parents would come get Gabby, her food, and a few toys and off they would go.

As the years past, this pattern continued. Alex's family soon moved into a house so were able to get some pets of their own, so Gabby didn't go to spend the night much, but if we were going away, boarding Gabby wasn't an option. Alex and his family would keep her. When that was no longer workable, we would board her and then Alex's folks would go get Gabby from boarding for the weekends and return her there on Monday when they went back to work.

I tell you all of this because it takes a very special animal to belong to so many people, give everyone their due, but still have her own favorites. She was truly something.

Time sure does fly by and Gabby was getting old and grey. Her ears were getting infected more and more often which is common in Cockers. One day I found her going around in circles confused and disoriented. She'd had a stroke. Her eyesight was fading too with cataracts forming in them both. She started staying behind with me more when Gary would be out doing the yard or working in the garage. I stayed put, and that worked out better for Gabby's tired old body. She was happy as long as she had one of us to be near.

Soon those infected ears got worse and her entire body was raging with infection. She was weak, we'd tried every antibiotic that the vet gave us, but nothing worked. The vet suggested he do surgery on her ears. We said we'd think and pray about that. We asked the vet to give us another medication and let us try that. We asked about steroids, so we tried that too.

We knew the time had come when we had to make that big decision between what was humane for our beloved Gabby and how in the world could we part with our long time friend. So, we ignored it as best we could for many months. We talked about it to Alex who is 17 now very he said, "Whatever you feel is best is totally alright with me, grandpa and grandma". We talked about it between ourselves too. Gary would just say, "Not yet", and I would agree.

The day came of awakening, though, when we realize that we were being selfish, that we had to love our beloved Gabby enough to say our goodbyes and give her peace. We made an appointment to talk to our vet. We gathered around Gabby as we talked. Dr Beck said he could do surgery and would do it for half price if that would help us. He also said, though, that for cocker spaniels, 14-15 years is their lifespan and Gabby was right up there and we needed to consider that. We knew he was right, but we again needed to go home, talk about it, call Alex and make sure he was ready, his folks, our other granddaughters, everyone. Mostly we needed to talk to Gabby. I lay on the bed next to her. I asked if she was ready to go. She just looked at me with her cataract glazed eyes and took a deep breath. My tears were dropping on her black ears as I kissed her and told her how I felt about her and thought it sucked that she was sick and how I wished I knew if dogs went to heaven or not. Gary was his stoic self, and couldn't do the goodbye thing. He did it in his way and in his time.

The next day we took her into the vets to be put down. I wanted to stay with her so badly, but they weren't going to be getting to her for a couple of hours and there was no way I could take her back home only to bring her back again. So, we kissed her for the last time and walked out with hearts that were so heavy they could have dragged on the ground. There was no comfort to be found anywhere other than in the fact that we did it for Gabby. We gave her peace because we loved her. We had to keep reminding ourselves of that. We made our calls to Alex and the rest of the family so that they would know that she was gone. Alex was okay, he said, and said it was the right thing to do for Gabby.

A couple of days later Alex came to spend the night with us. As he was foraging for something to eat in the pantry he came across some food that was still there of Gabby's that we hadn't given away yet. It was then that our big man sized boy started to cry. Then it was real to him too. His long time pal was gone for good. We cried together, we talked about our memories of our dear pet, then cried some more.

It's been about 6 weeks or so since we put our beloved "Gabby Girl" down. We have her ashes and are going to plant a tree somewhere and scatter her ashes at the base of it to nourish it. Our family will probably be the only ones who will know that that tree is a GABBY TREE, but that's okay. It'll be a place where we can go and visit and know that if Gabby knew and understood, she would like where she was put.

Our hearts are still heavy and longing for her as we continue to say those good byes..........but it's getting a little better. =)